The tale of EvoCity or the ballad of the Father - CHAP 4 RELEASED

[User 5190]

“Gentlemen, ladies, my children, “But there is a few complications with it, our normal supplier of firearms have been rendered unable to smuggle his weapons here. The police took him in a night raid. We will have to use a local supplier instead, I have already made contact with a person that have been recommended to me”.

Usually, a Italian crime family would never involve women or small children, even if they were in the family. I know that you didn't say how old the children were but my statement on the women still remains the same.

I like the story, seems you put alot of work into it, I probably read it just because you wanted to write about La Cosa Nostra and I was fairly interested in what you had to write, I saw a error in the first chapter where you put: “ Don’t worry, he will come. He won’t miss his hour of glory” so there was a space between the " and the text, also I see that you really like to write about details as I saw in the second chapter, It wasn't bad but I would say a tad bit boring after little while, the start was exciting but when you switched roles it became a little.. Yeah.

I would give it a 8/10 for the great storytelling.