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+---- Thread: A quick Poem about war. (/showthread.php?tid=38476)
A quick Poem about war. - Tandy - 10-16-2013
So, i tried some poetry. This is for my high school project. I'm not a person to use very big words, so don't be too impressed.
War.
War is most feared by any country.
War is despised more than anything.
War tears relationships and breaks families apart.
War brings death and tears.
War brings communities closer together.
Men fight, women cry.
Children suffer, while others are torn away from their parents.
War is dreadful.
War.
Feedback is appreciated!
RE: A quick Poem about war. - Qatar948 - 10-16-2013
its good iam think to add it to my new video that iam working on
me and Kula
it about ware
if you dont mind
RE: A quick Poem about war. - Tandy - 10-16-2013
Sure thing! I don't mind at all!
RE: A quick Poem about war. - Coupcunt - 10-16-2013
Its good. All makes sense, All true!!
Good job!
RE: A quick Poem about war. - Link - 10-16-2013
War.
War is most feared by any country.
War is despised more than anything.
War tears relationships and breaks families apart.
War brings death and tears.
War brings communities closer together.
Men fight, women cry.
Children suffer, while others are torn away from their parents.
War is dreadful.
War.
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Nice poem mate! I like the structure of the poem, both starting and ending it with the word 'war' for effect. There is however one line that doesn't make much sense, 'Children suffer, while others are torn away from their parents'. To make this a better sentence, I advise removing the words 'while others are' and replacing them with 'they are'. This gives the impression that THEY are being torn away from their parents, not any random children as is suggested by the version you have written.
Anyhow, keep up the good work!
RE: A quick Poem about war. - Tandy - 10-16-2013
Thanks for the feedback guys!