Wat Even *The Joys of The Tropics*

[Safira]

This is a rather lengthy woeful tale of an event which just recently happened. Not too exciting, but I need to rant.
tl:dr: little dragon, blocked entrance, me want shower, no can have shower because little dragon blocked entrance.

Picture this.

You've spent the past 2 hours in 'Bukit Shahbandar'. A 9 hill course whereby you're effectively hiking through jungle and rock for the sheer purpose of 'exercise'.
Now. You're coming home, ready to die in the heaven of a shower.
But, NO.
As you approach your gate, you notice your two dogs barking at a corner. 
"great. A cat."
But no. As you look toward the area of interest, you see two F*CKING REPTILE EYES STARE BACK AT YOU.

What. The. Feck.
"DAAAAAAAAAAD!"

My hopes and dreams of a shower were shattered.
We had yet another MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON blocking the gate.
it was a monitor lizard/komodo dragon but STILL

       [Image: FD4w39w.jpg] 
 [Image: uzPE3ZR.jpg] [Image: VAIjH9n.jpg]
Now, you may wonder "it's just a lizard. It's not gonna kill you." "Like, we get bears and sh*t here." "yeah man, we got the snakes too."
My dear reader chum. When these guys bite, they bite BAD. The pictures may not quite show you the size (little bit preoccupied trying to not mauled), however it was a good 1.5m in length (4ft9 for all you 'Muricans)
I was locked outside, rather than in the safety of my own little bubble. LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT THANK YOU.

Out comes the phone, now on 14% and not connecting to WiFi. Whilst my dad calls the fire brigade, I pursue the challenge of getting my dogs to realise the focking hissing dragon with claws DOES NOT want to play.
As I corall them via the back gate into my neighbours' driveway, Oreo, the most stupid and determined of the two, decides to run back in via the whole in the fence.

"OREO! GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE B!TCH"

*Interlude*

The firemen eventually turned up. Dogs barking madly from the safety of closed gates, and confused firemen asking what the issue was. The dispatcher hadn't told them.
F*ck.
After some confusion, they saw this motherfucking baby dragon slowly move its tail. 
Thus began the process of securing, immobilising, and tying up the creature.

Here endeth the tale.  

[Emil]

Come live in Great Danmark! We have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING EXCEPT FOR SEA, SEA AND MORE SEA. The most dangerous thing you can find here is "bjørneklo", which is a stupid plant from India that is poisonus and hurts when you touch it, and then we HAD a German wolf come by, but it is now of dedinz.

[SoulRipper]

I didn't know you were that sportive.

What a nasty yet cool suprise you've had, of course it's a little bit scary but who else can say they got a freaking lizard in front of their house?

[Preditor]

Far Cry 3

[Safira]

I didn't know you were that sportive.

AHAHAHAHA I'm not. I thought it was just like, up a reasonably small hill, and down, and up, and down, 9 times over.
NOPE. The only thing which keeps me from chucking myself off the path onto the steep decline on the side is the thought of mee goreng at the bottom...
Because it's my DOE physical, can't even quit and do like, table tennis...

[SirCrow]

So did you get to take a shower or do you smell like frogs Kermit? Did you at least pet it's head as it was leaving?

[MacTavish]

Come to serbia,where the most dangerous thing is a man called Aleksandar Vucic.

[Safira]

So did you get to take a shower or do you smell like frogs Kermit? Did you at least pet it's head as it was leaving?

I smell like kiwi and melon now
and the lizard no want to be petted

[Barkles]

This would have been me in that situation

Spoiler :

[Cujo]

did it kil u?? :o