[Pas] [Unofficial] Anti-Fruitcake Brigade

[Rowan13]

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AFB- People may apply for membership, but only the righteous ones can walk the path of the flour-based consumables.

The AFB, aka "Anti-Fruitcake Brigade", is a non-clan exclusive group that plays a key role in monitoring not just the happenings in Evocity, but mainly the activity on the forums, where the most active members voice their views and opinions even if most of the time it consists of the not-so-extraordinary mental diarrhea. The AFB was founded in order to maintain a high confectionery standard, keep things clean and respectable, promote a strong sense of quality control, and prevent the dissemination of depraved fruit-based recipes which corrupts society.

The following products are regarded as neutral by the Anti-Fruitcake Brigade:

1. Bread;
   
2. Pies;
   
3. Tarts;
   
4. Pasties;
   
5. Quiches;
   
6. Croissants;
   
7. Rice cakes;
   
8. Sheet cakes;
   
9. Layer cakes;
   
10. Tiered cakes;
    
11. Wedding cakes;
    
12. (anything that doesn't contain fruit for they are the gateway pastry ingredient to heavy pastry);
    

Anything other than this, specially fruitcakes is to be deemed prejudicial and unacceptable. Also be aware of prepackaged, pre-sliced bread and pre-sliced cakes, for these can easily be an actual fruitcake disguised as respectable forms of edible flour-based food baked in an oven.

Membership: (Being in a clan does not exclude you from being able to apply.)

• KHS Rowan_13
  
• The Honored
  
• Joey Skylynx
  
• Colonel Burger
  
• Dave
  
• Martti
  
• Golfstream
  
• Banditofdoom
  
• Mystic Nipple
  
• Mr.Tie
  
• others names are unconfirmed.
  

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[banditofdoom]

Best...idea...EVER. 5 stars sir!

[Rowan13]

People of FL, the time as come to make a stand against all the fruitcakery that we see here daily. Share your experiences with fruitcakes here, let your friends know that they are not alone! It is in desperate times like these that we must search deep within ourselves to find the strength and motivation to go on, to continue the struggle that is not mass murdering all around you due to their stress inducing blatant stupidity. Fruitcakes serve only the purpose of filling you up, disallowing you from ingesting and digesting every other important meal.
A fruitcake child is nothing but a servant to the devil.

RISE UP MY BROTHERS, GAZE UPON THE STARS, AND WHAT AWAITS US ONCE WE HAVE DEALT WITH THESE MONSTROUS THROAT GAGGING BEASTS OF MANY COLORS.

[banditofdoom]

I was touched by a fruitcake as a young boy...i've never been the same since *Sniffle*. Please hold me Doctor Apfelstrudel?

[The Prince Langers]

THIS IS ANARCHY SIR!
Know ye not of the fact that fruitcake is mentioned in the Magna Carta, the Human Rights act and the most sacred of all the texts, the Radio 4 cookbook. You are a blasphemer against all that is good in this world, (cakewise anyway). What you ask is against reason and all that is sacred (again cakewise). Did the almighty not say:

"Man can live on bread alone, but Fruitcake is salvation".

[Rowan13]

THIS IS ANARCHY SIR!
-snip-

False Prophets! The Dough-Water manuscript spoke of beings like you! Under cover fruitcake, thy shining caramelized fruit words and thy naturally sugary saggy tits of leaking misinformation are nothing but further proof of our righteousness!

A fruitcake for a fruitcake and the world will turn obese!



And Banditofdoom, you're secure with me. Let us hold each other, let my grizzly old prophetic chest-hair keep you warm through the coldest winds of uncertainty!

[Joey Skylynx]

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[Colonel Burger]

It was a rainy day in my town and I had gone to the grocery store to get some good ole fashioned bacon. I was going through the supermarket's aisles and I don't know, I must have been distracted or something but somewhere between the milk products and the candy aisle I got lost. FOR HOURS I WALKED, trying to find the exit or the smoked-meat location, but it was worthless, my legs ached and I was getting so hungry...
Then, I heard a voice: "psssst, colonel? psssst cum here boi i haev sumthin for u bby". I turn around alarmed, frightened but curious at the same time and I asked "Who is this? Momma? is it really you momma?"- No reply.

I continued to roam the corridors, a white labyrinth of several products in displaying shelves, until I heard the voice again: "psssst, hey you, yeah you in the che guevara costume, cum here bootyful i haev sumthin' u'll liek xoxoxox". I look to my left side and there it was, a whole row of packaged bakery. I got closer and closer, drawn to it like a penis to a bum, I distinctively remember being able to read the small printed letter on the label- it said fruitcake.

The world went black.
All I can remember was the stinging pain in my rectum, a thousand needles puncturing my fragile behind while I was being held from every side by dozens of fruitcakes. I passed out and when I woke up the world was different. I found myself laying in the front door of the supermarket in the foggy cold night. Something was terribly wrong.


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Even now when I try to sleep I hear their fruity laughs in my head, and the sweet scent of caramelized fruits in my nostrils.

[Rowan13]

Lets hold hands, this is a moving story.

[GunFISH]

Thought gay hating wasn't allowed in FL